I was told there would be punch and pie.

Put your hands together for people that bake.

I love stock photography.
 Everyone got the memo on cheering except for the lady on the far left in dark gray.
That's a tentative smile at best, she's not even sure why she's here.

Right now, give bakers a round of applause, because we take our dessert making friends and pastry chefs all over the world for granted. Really guys, baking is hard. Once upon a time, I spent many stressful years in chemistry labs. I remember my organic chemistry professor instructing our class to make a substance called Methyl Red, so you can imagine the stuff titrating into my beaker was required to be... the color of RED. He circled the room to see a whole lot of people producing that exact solution. When he got to my station, this hilarious character said, "So, are we distilling milk?"... and I was given an F for that lab. F, not for Fantastic.  As it turns out baking, like chemistry, is actually science, and I'm not sure I passed it last night in my attempt to make my first apple pie.... ever. You can see for yourself below:

... Joy is for Judy!

It's Sunday. 

Possibly the most beautiful Sunday in Alabama since we got here. A little chilly at 7:30 in the morning when I took the boys out to potty and I enjoyed my coffee on the deck while the entire city was silent except for a few birds chattering nearby. 

Perfection. 

I made a little jaunt to Target for lotion and Qtips, and had no idea the morning could get better. Apparently I've been living under a rock and Target's Phillip Lim Designer Collection is available  RIGHT NOW! How did I miss this? It was prominently displayed right inside the door... and I'm sure I heard someone blow a kazoo and that's when I imagined confetti falling from the ceiling. Hooray!! Designer clothing at Target prices! I cried a little, gave a short speech, hugged a Target team member. I'm sure I blacked out from the excitement because when I came to in my car I found a gorgeous Phillip Lim sweater and dress in my shopping bag.

Doh! 

 I love you. No, I love yoooou.
Oh I can't decide, I love you both.

Anyhow. I was on a real high... caffeine AND and retail bargain therapy. I got home, blathered like a lunatic to my husband about my awesome morning, all while staring at my fridge's fruit drawer wondered why 2 people have this much fruit.  I mean, I'm having a winning day... what could make it better? 

And do you know what I thought when I saw that fruit?

FACEOFF, Part 2 (Wine Openers... and whatever it opened)

Wait, what? A wine opener?  Oh, you recall something about kale chips for Part 2? What's going on?

Look. It was kale. Friggin' kale. I don't know what I was thinking. I love the bejebus out of it... but writing about kale? I'd rather watch paint dry than read that garbage, and so would you. Shit, you're my readers you don't come here to be bored, and neither do I.
So.
What happened?
I had planned to not get my drink on tonight,  but wine opened. Clearly... you're not shocked. I'd suffered a two a day workout that exhausted and frustrated me. And my inner WINO broke through.