And the hits continue!

So... I had it out with a pair of old metal rings in a 1,000 degree, poorly ventilated Combat Training center on base today. I slipped off the rings hard attempting a ring muscle up after some kind of frog kicking/wild monkey swinging shit, blood all over my left hand and wrist and quietly cried on the floor. In front of maybe four men and my husband. Five men then. I found a first aid kit (as a wound care certified RN this archaic thing was a joke), crappily bandaged and wrapped my lame hand as best I could and proceeded to half ass a hero WOD. On an Air Force Base installation. I think that's actually illegal here....  half assing anything, and weeping with a quitter's mentality. I want to recap how I thought it would go based upon the previous day's skill work and consistent improvement:

I really felt like it was a genuine possibility. I mean, I've gotten it together on the necessary strength and basic movements and here I was, the epitome of blood, sweat, and tears...  and a series of repeated FAILS. I didn't get it in any way. So I felt like this:

But looked way, way worse.
Damn I love her dress.
....But she clearly doesn't lift, bro. 

I had seen a circulating article on Facebook about What Women Weight Lifters needed to know (see here: Women Weight Lifters) and the second point I saw and didn't get in any way was the crying one. Crying? There's no crying in CrossFit! It seemed ridiculous to me for a long time. I've certainly been very pissed off, frustrated, and felt confused about a skill set or a lift many times in the past year. But crying? Shit, I've got bigger problems. Well today I really got it. And I understand why so many BAMF women get worked up. I cried all the way home. And at home as well over text to an amazing friend and complete BAMF CrossFitter. I made irrational, crazy statements about being a massive loser who was weak and maybe I should just stop trying because I'm an embarassment. I wanted to compare myself to these friends who are basically my personal heros who had attained this holy-grail-of-strength-skill in less than 6 months, or have many years of experience coaching/performing it. I can't help myself... us little people have the Napoleon complex and think we're as big and strong as everyone els even if we are only just over 5 feet tall. Despite having zero experience with a 10# dumbbell prior to beginning CrossFit I expect more of myself. Needless to say, I took the whole event poorly and acted like a child. 

SO.

Boot straps. Someone once said something about picking yourself up by a bootstrap. It sounds like a motivational tool.

 But, I don't wear boots. 

I wear flip flops, occasionally a heel, and sometimes a sandal.

But mostly, I wear

chucks. 

So I'll pull myself up by those.

CrossFit and olympic lifting are a piece of me now and the never say die spirit I've learned here will live to fight another day....

Much love to you hard working CrossFit gals wherever you bust your asses. Gyms, boxes, home, and the often required road WOD. It's inspirational. You keep hearts and souls like mine uplifted every moment of the day.

-From one tired and persistent little lady to another,

Judy