FACEOFF, Part 2 (Wine Openers... and whatever it opened)

Wait, what? A wine opener?  Oh, you recall something about kale chips for Part 2? What's going on?

Look. It was kale. Friggin' kale. I don't know what I was thinking. I love the bejebus out of it... but writing about kale? I'd rather watch paint dry than read that garbage, and so would you. Shit, you're my readers you don't come here to be bored, and neither do I.
So.
What happened?
I had planned to not get my drink on tonight,  but wine opened. Clearly... you're not shocked. I'd suffered a two a day workout that exhausted and frustrated me. And my inner WINO broke through.

FACEOFF, Part 1 (The Watch)

DING DING DING

Rock Em’ Sock ‘Em for Running Watches.

Garmin 201 Forerunner VS. Garmin 10

First, look at this 201 Forerunner. It’s fucking gigantic.

 This person has a normal sized arm,  and no joke this thing goes up to my mid-forearm. I really feel like Data from Next Gen Star Trek. Bee Bop Boo Beep

And it's heavy. Look at this lady:

She's physically exhausted from wearing this wrist weight.
 She's crumpled to the ground. It's just become too much for her.
I get it, sister, I get it.