Update Blogspot followers/friends: Jisforjudy.com IS LIVE!

How exciting... and a little bit scary!

I'm moving out of my parent's house and I 've got my own place.... or that's at least what relocating to my own blog site feels like.

 I truly hope you have enjoyed my misadventures here on Blogspot.com!

 If you are interested in future posts, please visit this link on Facebook and 'like' the J is For Judy page. You can also visit my blog directly by clicking this link:

JisforJudy.com! 

... and subscribing to email notifications of the next posting!

Regardless, I'll be linking the newest blog posts to Facebook weekly, exclusively to the J is for Judy page! 

Lots of love,

I was told there would be punch and pie.

Put your hands together for people that bake.

I love stock photography.
 Everyone got the memo on cheering except for the lady on the far left in dark gray.
That's a tentative smile at best, she's not even sure why she's here.

Right now, give bakers a round of applause, because we take our dessert making friends and pastry chefs all over the world for granted. Really guys, baking is hard. Once upon a time, I spent many stressful years in chemistry labs. I remember my organic chemistry professor instructing our class to make a substance called Methyl Red, so you can imagine the stuff titrating into my beaker was required to be... the color of RED. He circled the room to see a whole lot of people producing that exact solution. When he got to my station, this hilarious character said, "So, are we distilling milk?"... and I was given an F for that lab. F, not for Fantastic.  As it turns out baking, like chemistry, is actually science, and I'm not sure I passed it last night in my attempt to make my first apple pie.... ever. You can see for yourself below:

... Joy is for Judy!

It's Sunday. 

Possibly the most beautiful Sunday in Alabama since we got here. A little chilly at 7:30 in the morning when I took the boys out to potty and I enjoyed my coffee on the deck while the entire city was silent except for a few birds chattering nearby. 

Perfection. 

I made a little jaunt to Target for lotion and Qtips, and had no idea the morning could get better. Apparently I've been living under a rock and Target's Phillip Lim Designer Collection is available  RIGHT NOW! How did I miss this? It was prominently displayed right inside the door... and I'm sure I heard someone blow a kazoo and that's when I imagined confetti falling from the ceiling. Hooray!! Designer clothing at Target prices! I cried a little, gave a short speech, hugged a Target team member. I'm sure I blacked out from the excitement because when I came to in my car I found a gorgeous Phillip Lim sweater and dress in my shopping bag.

Doh! 

 I love you. No, I love yoooou.
Oh I can't decide, I love you both.

Anyhow. I was on a real high... caffeine AND and retail bargain therapy. I got home, blathered like a lunatic to my husband about my awesome morning, all while staring at my fridge's fruit drawer wondered why 2 people have this much fruit.  I mean, I'm having a winning day... what could make it better? 

And do you know what I thought when I saw that fruit?

Get Lost, Cheat Days!

I had a Cheat Day.

Ok ok, That's a bold-faced lie. I NEVER have a Cheat Day.... that's right I crushed a solid week, ladies and gentlemen don't bring that one day weak sauce over here. I was breaking down so often recently I couldn't even sell myself the idea of trying for a single day... let alone a Cheat Meal. 

Look at my cheeks on Cheat Days.
I've eaten so much I can't even close mah mouf.
My arms have disappeared into my bellies. All three of them.

 A few weeks ago I was still engaging in a common "fitness" past time known as Cheat Days (i.e. eating super tasty forbidden items or in my case binging 1-2 days a week after keeping a perfect, healthful diet together for the previous 5 days)...it got real ugly. I woke up early for one and reenacted Supermarket Sweep (in case you forgot about the best show on TV in the 90's) for my belly.
 *Guys. I know you didn't click that link. 
That shit's so awesome... do it.

Sometimes I like to switch it up

What in the woooooooooorrrlllld.....this isn't a boozy blog?!
Holy Moley, I'm wigging out too!

Right now, I'm 15 minutes post run... you heard me. I RAN. In fact, I've been secretly running and haven't told you for nearly a month. I know, I'm keeping a lot of exciting secrets these days... cooking fails and undercover running.  I want to tell you running is crazy, and I'm a little crazy so we might be perfect for one another. At this minute I'm still trying to shake off a flu, and my lower body is made of lead after yesterday's heavy back squats and it's 6:45 in the freaking morning...but here I am. A three mile run, done! Oh yeah, I said it. Three whooooole miles. With what I determined was a serious race pace, but that a member of Oprah's Walking Connection would destroy with one swift hip stride. Even more shocking... I was up before the sun. And like the handful of times I straggled through the door of CrossFit 702 at 6am, I was belligerent, mismatched, and just trying to survive.
Again, if I'm this slow and this miserable... why do it? I already CrossFit, isn't that enough? Should I see a therapist for whatever is propelling me to suffer this much?

I want to explain these photos.

I promise I haven't gone into hibernation. 

I've been totally engrossed in developing the website I purchased from GoDaddy.com for JisforJudy.com and am in the process of becoming technologically talented with web design for PC/Mac/Mobile Phones/this TRS80. You don't know what that is? Fine fine, I'm old. Just say it.  Here's a pic of our family's first computer, the TRS80:

Not a joke, this bad boy required 3 days of  coding to enter a name in the address book.
Which was all computers were at the time,  a 100 lb. address book...
annnnd  occasionally to play Frogger on a floppy disk.

Not the point. 

Apologies.
I'm diligently organizing my site so that you'll enjoy not only the bloggity nonsense posted, but also for ease of access with any device! If I'm really lucky, JisforJudy.com ends up beautiful AND functionally fantastic. But I'm driving this bus, so you really never know.

So what photos were taken and why? Check it out! I have a new neighbor... Sussanah Dowell!

A site review, just for the ladies

I don't like to shop. It overwhelms me. A very non-girly thing about me. 

So, I only shop when I ABSOLUTELY have to for a big event. 

Weddings. Reunions. Military event #432, you name it!  When I actually do drag myself into a shopping center, I'm massively unhappy because what's on the rack is what everyone in the joint will be wearing (albeit, in 6 different colors) and in no way a reflection of my personality or style. Hooray for mass produced items that make us all clones! Disturbing. I want something unique, affordable, and that photographs well but here comes the big truth about that dress... I'M NEVER GOING TO WEAR IT AGAIN. I can lie to myself all day but I know that thing's getting shoved in the back of my closet never to return to daylight.

So. 

Solution.

FACEOFF, Part 2 (Wine Openers... and whatever it opened)

Wait, what? A wine opener?  Oh, you recall something about kale chips for Part 2? What's going on?

Look. It was kale. Friggin' kale. I don't know what I was thinking. I love the bejebus out of it... but writing about kale? I'd rather watch paint dry than read that garbage, and so would you. Shit, you're my readers you don't come here to be bored, and neither do I.
So.
What happened?
I had planned to not get my drink on tonight,  but wine opened. Clearly... you're not shocked. I'd suffered a two a day workout that exhausted and frustrated me. And my inner WINO broke through.

FACEOFF, Part 1 (The Watch)

DING DING DING

Rock Em’ Sock ‘Em for Running Watches.

Garmin 201 Forerunner VS. Garmin 10

First, look at this 201 Forerunner. It’s fucking gigantic.

 This person has a normal sized arm,  and no joke this thing goes up to my mid-forearm. I really feel like Data from Next Gen Star Trek. Bee Bop Boo Beep

And it's heavy. Look at this lady:

She's physically exhausted from wearing this wrist weight.
 She's crumpled to the ground. It's just become too much for her.
I get it, sister, I get it.

And the hits continue!

So... I had it out with a pair of old metal rings in a 1,000 degree, poorly ventilated Combat Training center on base today. I slipped off the rings hard attempting a ring muscle up after some kind of frog kicking/wild monkey swinging shit, blood all over my left hand and wrist and quietly cried on the floor. In front of maybe four men and my husband. Five men then. I found a first aid kit (as a wound care certified RN this archaic thing was a joke), crappily bandaged and wrapped my lame hand as best I could and proceeded to half ass a hero WOD. On an Air Force Base installation. I think that's actually illegal here....  half assing anything, and weeping with a quitter's mentality. I want to recap how I thought it would go based upon the previous day's skill work and consistent improvement:

You needed to know

So I've repeatedly posted meals that were absolutely wonderful, and should 100% be duplicated. No doubt. And I've received the nicest feedback from y'all (yes, it's happening let's all handle my new found love of the y'all) about the meals sounding pretty decent, and easy! Which is astounding because I can not cook to save my life, and I only cook while boozing.  But here comes the confessional, MTV style.

I've felt like a cheat. A fake. I've hidden my disasters from you. I'm sorry. So, I give you..... Judy's Jackassery 1.0. It's seriously shameful but I try unbelievably hard at everything I do and failing is really about the worst thing I can imagine. But here they are. Epic fails.

Dear Diary,

It's been 6 whole weeks since I've had any candy, and I just couldn't live like that anymore. I don't care much for dessert, but I live for what many of my girl friends affectionately refer to as man candy because their husbands love it but they can't stand it. While I was nestled all snug in my bed, visions of  88 cent knock off CVS Swedish Fish, Mike and Ike (tropical and original flavors), and Jelly Bellies danced in my head. Really truly, I had a dream last night about buying bags of the fishes and stuffing them down my face as fast as possible. So instead of pretending I wasn't going to have a break down, I just let the break down happen today. To make matters worse, I was gag gifted a pretttttty class-ay bottle of wine, and I can't help but think it was a natural pairing to wash down the full blown meltdown.

I bet this sauce is even good in your hair

I love wings. I can tank a million. Ok, that's a lie, but close for sure. Plus, I had seen fit coaches and friends blog about adding buffalo sauce to just about everything. Legitimately every meal. And I thought, these people need to branch out...until I found this at the fancy grocery store and sampled it:

This walking, talking miracle in a bottle.
I want to snuggle it and name it Terry. Oh Terry.....

Just like The Count: One Calorie, Two Calorie, Three Calorie. MUA AH HA!

About a month ago, I instituted some pretty challenging dietary standards for myself. Specifically no dairy in any form, desserts, or candy. It was, and still continues to be an ingenious plan to live a little healthier. Of course, I've had a couple of slips, and I've eaten a few items that aren't exactly fitting the health food category. But in moderation, I've held back on far more deliciousness than I've given into. I was certain, just certain my new changes coupled with almost exclusively Paleo choices would allow me to maintain my happy weight and hey, maybe even drop a pound or two while making gains in my fitness endeavors. I mean, boom! Check out those rippling muscles, right?

This post brought to you by the letter Heich. For Hungover.

I can barely type this. I've got the brain pain, coach and I'm going to make a cliche statement right now.... I really didn't think I drank that much. Ok, I had that tequila shot, it seemed like a fun idea at the time. It always, always does. Until it doesn't. It hurts to think about typing in caps. Who kept buying me drinks? Alright, that was me. My brain is making fart sounds, and this post will be the death of me.

You and me both, little dude.

Let's just get on with this already...

Mind your meat

Like most Pinterest users, I am notorious for pinning and never doing. I've also never really been a fan of pork chops, and when I found this recipe it looked really delicious:

Double Crunch Honey Glazed Pork Chops

I know! Take a gander at that picture it's amazing.

Let it be known that is not what my chops will look like.

I thought, what would make this better than to sub in Gluten-Free and Paleo alternatives? So I did.

I'm going to get hate mail for this.

But it has to be said. And I absolutely under no circumstance should incriminate the party that made me do this. Don't read to far into this, of course...

....because, it's just a hypothetical. What organization I'm talking about.

 Naturally.

Welcome home, Judy!

Woah, it's been a Roller Coaster of a past week! I had the grand opportunity to go back to my old stomping grounds for a few days and fit in as many visits with friends, workouts, and delicious sushi meals as possible. While I never get to see everyone, no matter how long I have, I feel like the shotgun approach was still a success and I had a BLAST. Pun always intended. While I'd prefer not to give you the ridiculously long/painful story of my first ER visit, and tale of self imposed temporary blindness... that happened this past Saturday on my way back home to Alabama. And I spent my first overnight in my new state being treated for a strange, severe reaction.

I didn't do this. Don't lie, it's exactly what you thought.

Try a little tenderness

I'm blogging to you from just south of Oklahoma City, on a Wi-Fi enabled flight, god knows how high up in the air.  Which means, I navigated the airport scene... and more than that, drove to the closest major airport 97 miles north of my home. Through some rather bible belty areas in the countryside, might I add. I'm not going to embark on the cathartic rant you're expecting. I don't know any person who would tell you they enjoy the airport adventure, specifically Security. Frequently it's a less than human experience, cattle-like and it's beginning to seem like those that shower and change out of pajamas are now in the minority. I even had the distinct pleasure of witnessing a woman using her tiny dog as an emotional pacifier- tightly attached to her chest via a baby bjorn apparatus, and petting him an obsessively. After boarding my flight, I realized she was 4 feet from me:

I MAED THIS

Quick introduction to my cooking skills, I have few. Quickest intro ever, huh?  Regardless, I really do find cooking therapeutic! While I can teccccchhhhhhhnically cook without music and alcohol, I can't actually tell you that I enjoyed it. So today's meal is a mash up of my "Whoop Whoop Get Happy" playlist, vodka cocktail(s), and a flurry of knives. Aren't you excited?! I know I am!!

Now we can begin.

  I decided on Paleo Pad Thai, we don't get a lot of tasty healthy ethnic food around here, so  I need this BAD.

All ingredients below for entire meal:

 Upper Right:  Hodge podge of ingredients to make Sunshine Sauce to go on Pad Thai
Upper Left: Behold the fuel that makes this all possible
Bottom: Actual Pad Thai ingredients

I can't get enough of this site

I've probably been randomly perusing and purchasing from this site for 3-4 years. I am enamored with the sheer volume of artistry collected and presented here, and the many ways you can personalize each work to suit your decorative or fashion needs.

You need a drink.

I can't lie to you, today started out like shit. I couldn't rectify the nasty of the day, so although I made an agreement with myself to not drink this week, I'm drinking. At 3:52 PM.  Screw it. I did promise that if I were to post about alcohol, I'd have had some alcohol, right? I'm not getting fancy today. This is the old standby:

Tito's vodka, and club soda. I fruited it with 4 cherries.

I like what I like. And the older I get the more I don't just like what I like.... I'll cut you if it's not available at the bar. I'll have an emotional breakdown if the place has only craptastic liquors, bartenders who don't know how to tip that heavy pour, or sweet sweet jeebus, JUST BEER. JUST DISGUSTING BEER. I'll kick you in the back if you take me there.

hahahaha. 

I'm not kidding.

Not every day is a PR day.

Deep down somewhere, I'm a realist.

 I know everyday in the gym isn't going to be a record setting, life changing event. That does not change the fact that every single morning I get ready for a workout, I mentally prep for it being a big day. This is a REAAAAL BIG DAY! The self talk is absolutely something else. So anytime I complete a one rep max lift before a WOD and don't PR I go from this:

TO THIS

Get on the floor... and do your dance do your dance.

It sounds pretty awful, the saying, To Falling Apart. I mean, even when you googley the phrase, you'll notice some of the descriptors include, "...to drop wounded or dead, especially in battle." and  "...to experience defeat, or ruin."

I mean, DAMN. That SO drives the point home, because it's exactly how that day/week or even a MONTH can truly feel. And it hurts, a freaking lot.

On going Paleo...and my love of the creamer

Blergh.
That's actually how I feel about saying, "I'm going Paleo." In fact, I see the ethical and wellness merits of many dietary lifestyles (Vegan, Vegetarian, Zone), but proclaiming a hard fact about myself is not my bag, baby.  So I should be bendy about this and say, I'm about as close to Paleo as it's going to ever get. The Paleo Diet is the one I find most appropriate for my personal health and wellness based up on GI issues I've had with most grains/wheat, and my new found horror of what I can only assume is Lactose Intolerance. Yeah, you know how I found that out. Suicide by dairy intake. It was delicious, and also I'd like to take this moment to formally apologize to my in-laws for the aftermath. Anyhow, I'm not going to inundate you with Paleo sites, you're a big boy or girl. Go googley it.

Blogwitdablog-da blog-da dang diggity...my name is Juuuu.............JUUUUUDDDDAAAAAAYY!

Judy's resumé goes on and on....

I mean, someone had to set this one off like fireworks, right?!